i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
