Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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