the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
