Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
