Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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