Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
