after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
