I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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