it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
