i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
