my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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