I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We talked him into tasing himself.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
