And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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