Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
