yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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