just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
