***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
