i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
