you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
