He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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