she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
