you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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