Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
