your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
