I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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