I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
