no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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