The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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