I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
