I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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