Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
