I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
