I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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