Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
