Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
God, I missed his penis.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
