I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
