Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
