i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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