Yo dont text me then not text me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
