The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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