Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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