I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
handjob tips. give me some.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
