I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
