WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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