why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
