goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
