when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
