So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
