YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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