are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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