I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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