he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
